Ok...Here it is...

Yes, it has been a while since I posted to my blog. I have been a bit overwhelmed and busy.  I posted that I thought that there was nothing serious found on my ultrasound because the tech was a cool cucumber.  She should be an actress. LOL

I do have gall stones, I do have liver problems, and I do have a mass in my right kidney.  They think that the mass is non cancerous though, Praise God!  So.... since then, I have had 2 dr appts, lab draw, new meds, med changes, nutritional counseling, and hundreds of grey hairs.

I have applied for state medical and was denied, I was approved for $16 a month in food stamps though. LOL   Just yesterday I filed about 10 pages of paperwork for disability insurance.  We will see.  Dr Z. said that it would probably be good to go on disability for at least a while until I am healthier and finish my RN program so I can get a consulting position.

On the positive side, I will live, nothing fatal if I act quick.  I can change my diet, I can change my stress level, and I can change my activity level. 

The way I see it, I can sit around and say poor me or I can thank God that I am alive, and will be alive and well. 

So.... lets get started...

For the crafters who pop in...HELP WANTED

Hello fellow digi fans.  I am just getting started on my blog site, but soon it will be filled with fun stuff, lots of freebies and good conversation.

Do me a favor and drop me a line about your faves to scrap, colors to use, and element styles.  etc...

It will help us here at Dezines2amaze to know what we should highlight and give focus to.

My name is Beth B. and my partner in crime is Cami B.  I'm a nurse & designer and she is a published writer and photographer.

On a personal note, this last week was a roller coaster ride with my Dr telling me that he thought I had stomach cancer.  I decided to blog the daily experience of tests and more tests. Bottom line, nothing so far and I pray it stays that way.

The way I see it, some days the bug, some days the windshield.

Can I just ignore it?

I'm not a big TV watcher and don't hang on every word the news reporters say, but I did hop on over to Facebook, only to see a post that my oldest daughter posted this morning.  I had gotten a text pretty similar to it this AM just as my alarm went off.

Stephanie is a very compassionate lady and feels the pain of those she loves and who need love.  She is a graduate nurse, wife, and mother of 2 beautiful boys, ages 5 and 2.5months.  Her post was a prayer to our Father for the families of the killed and wounded at the movie theater, for the assailant, and for our country.  Her text was a prayer to God for me, and a verse to comfort and encourage me.  I am blessed to be called Stephanie's mom.

My ultrasound went fine, wasn't too painful and I didn't read panic on the technician's face so it must have been fairly routine.  I'm glad that all seems to be  normal, but a bit perplexed.  I do have unexplained swelling, enlarged lymph nodes, and sharp pain to my right side.  I also have an ongoing low grade fever and elevated white blood cell count.  I'm not going to ignore it, but I'm not going to freak out anymore.  I think it can be like that in life too, we can run around checking here and there for the answers to the questions that we have for God and still not find them.  It could be that we aren't supposed to know, or that He is not going to reveal the answer until we search more or trust Him more.  Probably both.

I'm feeling pretty confident now that I do not have stomach cancer, a "hot" appendix, gall stones, ovarian cancer or liver issues.  I think I will live.  How long is up to God. lol  So, I need to pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again. 

The way I see it is that God has His hand in every facet of our lives.  As it says in the Bible, He guides our steps, clothes the flowers of the field, and know when even a bird falls from the sky.  That is pretty comforting.  My prayer is also for the families of the victims, as they are victims too.  They have one benefit though, they still have time to make their life count, to touch another soul, and to have their voice heard. 
None of us know if this is our last breath, so lets make it good.

xoxox

Are you kidding me?

So I'm looking at my clock and the thermometer on the garage and the two certainly do not match, at least here in the Pacific Northwest!  7pm and 88'.  It does feel very, very humid, but I'm not sure about the heat thing.  Direct sunlight probably plays into it, but may I repeat... I live in Washington State and  it's not supposed to be this warm/humid.  OK, I'll give to God what God is due and say, I'm a whiner  and He is entitled to do what He wants. But.... Are you kidding me?

Ever have on of those days when you are trying to make a CD of files to free up a bit of space on your hard drive and it gives you lip and says that it doesn't even have enough disk space to run the CD burner?  This puts me in a pickle because now I have to dump some files that I don't really want to loose. How do you choose which child you want to sacrifice to the computer God?  Will I be able to get it back? Etc... I can be logical about and delete files that I have backed up to CD already, or I can pick and choose which freebie I can live without.  Both don't even feel right. Ahhh....

Tomorrow morning is the deciding diagnostic to weather I get away with a warning to eat better, sleep better, bump up  my activity level, consider getting a job to exercise my brain cells...etc.  Or I might have to bite the bullet and let someone actually peek inside me to straighten things out.  Lets  hope that its just a warning.  lol  I already have a patch-work quilt on my tummy.  I'm no sexy young thing anymore, so Id rather stay in one piece. lol

The blood pressure medicine hasn't stopped the hair on my chin situation yet either.  Do you think I am rushing it?  lol   My blood pressure hasn't dropped yet, but I guess it makes since that it would take at least a couple of days.  I feel good, and that's what counts, so they say.

I ran to the corner grocery store and bought stuff to make ice cream sundaes with all the toppings, and I mean all the toppings... including bacon bits.  lol   Yummy!  Caila is finishing up her chores so she can help me with the creations.  This one is for Cami, my bff, and sil, I hope we don't paint the kitchen tonight. xoxox

The way I see it... you can just sit here and whine... ( and I have ) or you can find any excuse to
P-A-R-T-Y !  So party is here tonight, bring a spoon and bowl because ice cream sundaes don't work too well on paper plates. 

Nough said...

Opps... I missed a post...

Good news and more to come ( I hope). My labs came back nearly perfect and my chest x-ray was negative for any suspicious spots!  I did get a new diagnosis of cardio-megaly but everyone who knows me already knows that I have a big heart.  lol  Now I have it in writing.  Doctor didn't think it was too funny though and prescribed a blood pressure medicine that I now have to add to my bundle of pills.  A nice side effect of the med is supposed to be less facial hair, and thank God in Heaven for that!  Sweet!

Still have an abdominal ultrasound on Friday am and then after that, a follow up appt in 2 weeks. Cant wait until it is all over.  I can get on with living and get over dying. Yippee!  

We made a trip to Lacey to look at a muffler that John wants to put on his Cobra, and found that the seller had mistakenly listed it as such in such when actually it was a such in such.  Car talk. I don't speak that language.  He decided to order one online to make sure he got exactly what he wanted.  Good idea.  I know that I am that way about scrapbooking.  No... stickers wont do when I want 3-d embellishments, and no... they are not the same thing.

Caila is blowing up my cell phone already yakking about milk for her cereal.  Duty Calls...

The way I see it is being on staycation is exhausting, and  I'm going to need a vacation after this. lol

Ha Ha... what a day!

Today started pretty early as the x-ray dept at the hospital was a walk in and they were open early.  Caila and John wanted to go to lunch after that so I got to trapes around with the whole family.  What could have been an early day went on, and on, and on.  Stop at Goodwill, now another Goodwill, and then lunch, then Home Depot...

We had lunch at the Dragon Chinese Buffet.  Never has disappointed us yet.  Ate entirely too much and then I decided to have a plate of banana pudding.  I'm not kidding, it was a plate of it.  So many cookies, and bananas and pudding.  I felt that I would pop!  Of course John and Caila ate multiple plates of rice, chicken, shrimp, noodles, etc. and topped it off with ice cream.  Lovely.  The check came and the fortune cookies came; mine was good for once.  I hope that is good luck; it must be, because just as I reached for the bill, John grabbed it and said that it was his treat.  That IS good luck. lol

On the way home we stopped at Home Depot to get paint for the patio set.  This is of course one of the things on John's bucket list for his week off from work.  The new buzz word for this, I understand, is a stay-cation.  I'm trying to get him to take me to the beach come Wednesday or so, just for one night.  We will see... lol While John sanded and re varnished the hot tub enclosure, Caila and Eric, her best bud, sanded down the patio chairs and got started on painting them.  Pretty paint.  We got a color called Rosemary.  Matches the cushions and umbrella very nicely.

Later this eve we made a fire in the pit and chilled for a spell.  I got so tired, wined for my recliner and John gave in and we came in.  Just then the kids came back from am/pm and accused us of not caring about them... lol  We are the ones that felt ditched.  lol  Anyways, we are inside, and they are outside.  I just hope that they do a good job of spreading the fire out when they are tired of it. 

The way I see it, today was a very long day, but we were together 90% of it, so it was a great day!

Now the kids came in... lol  "Did you spread the logs out?" ....

Delisciously yucky weather

Last night was fun.  I enjoyed getting out and hanging out with friends/family at the Frito Lay BBQ. I love it when kids are just at that right age that they want to stick close but don't want micro-managed.  The kids had a good time goofing off and we had a good time socializing.  Good stuff.

Ahhhh... at about 4:15am I was awakened by my phone ringing and ringing.  I jumped out of bed, OK, I crawled out of bed and on the way to the phone, I stepped in a pile of kitty yack!  Ewww!!! Soaked through my pajama socks and everything.  I made it to the phone a bit late to answer it to see that it was my kiddo Caila that had called.  Humm... I called back right away and no answer.  Waited a min and heard that bling noise that most of the time indicated that a message was left. Checked it only to find out that it was a text message from my oldest daughter Stephanie.  Message read, Ive been trying to reach you for a couple of days, If you are still alive, call me.  lol  I text her right off to see if it was an emergency and she zapped me back lol that it wasn't and I could call when I properly woke up. lol  (She lives in Florida). I'm in the wonderful Pacific Northwest. 

Anyhow, I text Caila to check on her and no response. I peeked out the window and saw nothing suspicious across the way and headed back to bed.  Ahhhh... again, How could I forget the yack so quickly?  Didn't step in it this time but took about 10 mins to clean it up.   I can still feel the muck between my toes, and my socks are already in the wash by the way.  lol

Now the weather,  cool, overcast, breezy and downright yucky!  But I love it.  Hot weather makes me sticky and drippy. Enough said. lol  The drawback to this kind of weather is the joint pain, but I think I can handle it today.  John stoked up the fire under the hot tub (not really) but he did get it hot and it sounds Divine!  One more cup of coffee should wake me up better and then I hope to get going.

The way I see it is that God knows exactly what kind of weather to produce, and if we don't like it, tough tookies.  We might as well find the silver lining and make the most of it.  So there...lol

Just had to add... lol... John just said, "Stupid Axx Weather!"  Guess he needs to read my blog..lol

The day after yesterday... July 14, 2012

Yesterday was certainly a different kind of day.  Ive got a lot to process in this mind of mine.  I have issues, I know that.  Lots of issues to be honest with you.  Yesterday just added to them.  My very first thought was to find a little church that was open and to pray with the pastor.... believe it or not... neither of the 2 churches that I stopped at were open.  lol  And it came to me, I don't need to be in a building or with another person to stop and pray.  All day long I talk to God.  We're tight like that.  So, I just said a quick prayer, threw it up to Him and went home. 

Then I did what any girl would do, I called my best friend Cami and left a message to call me when she could.  I got the call a little bit later and we discussed weather or not I would tell John about my appointment or be vague about it.  I decided to be vague, then he called through.  First thing he did was ask me about my appointment!  Damn!  I let him know that we could chat about it when he got home and he insisted that we TALK NOW.  So much for vague. He wouldn't go for it so he got the whole story. 

Today I've been in alot of physical pain and that leads to emotional pain.  I just figured that I would be there when we retired and were able to go gallivanting around together with our motor home.  I figured that I would live in that house in Montesano and go to Lake Sylvia whenever we got the urge.  Maybe I will, but its pretty unsure at this moment.  Pretty Sucky! The next week will paint a clearer picture, chest xray on Monday, follow up appt on Tuesday to go over that labs taken yesterday and the xray results.  Hurry up and wait I guess.

The way I see it...is that whatever we had planned, dreamed of, whatever we are working toward is still there and to give up today would be a pity.  So... weather I want to or not, I have to get up out of this chair, get dressed for the day, make breakfast/lunch for John and clean our house.  Later tonight we will be going to the baseball game that Frito has every year and we will see friends and family, and have fun.

End of story. lol